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I woke up this morning laying on my side in a rather large puddle of drool. Puddle is an accurate term, unfortunately. I got to sleep in today and so that meant I woke up when my husband's alarm went off, I fell back asleep, then woke up again some time later, realized that today was the day to snooze, and did that immediately. Once I was officially awake I took care of my immediate concerns and then I began my workday morning routine by heading to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. That brew would have to wait, however, because as I made my way down our hallway there was an attempt made on my life. A rude, slimy, plant eating asassin somehow got into the house and was making his slow journey to my end. Thankfully, he was a slug and I am fully grown adult human being so his jump scare tactics were fairly weak (corporate tried to edit this and say "...so his jump scare tactics were strong enough to elicit a gasp" to paint him in a sympathetic light, ridiculous). Still, I made my way down to the swamp where my husband was bathing and I told him the details of the situation. He understood the task laid out before him without the need for me to even finish my story. He is a man of God after all. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel, absolutely radiating with a sense of duty, and marched towards the perpetrator hand extended. There was no fight. The would be killer was hurled outside in a great show of shame and failure, for all his relatives to witness.
The world is a harsh place.
And sometimes,
you've got to toss the slug.
Stay frosty meine Freunde.